So...

Here's where I ended up: I'm in Cambridge, I am trying to concentrate on work, catch up with the three months of backlog that was waiting for me. I did almost nothing but have meetings last week, and I am still learning things about what went on when I left.

I'm sorry I didn't update right away when I got back, but I've been feeling pretty drained by the whole ordeal and I was focused on other stuff. Even now, I'm just taking a break from some bugs I'm fixing at work. I'm so far behind it isn't funny.

You know what is funny, though? Penny Arcade. Pure genius - although unfortunately, unlike Tycho, home is not where I live. Robert Church recently reminded me that if I want a massive cult of personality, I need to have a better website.

I feel kind of bad that I can't come up with that kind of literary gem:

Even when fully cognizant of the dangers inherent in Time Travel, it is easy to see why one might brave the chaotic realms outside linear time to snare a copy before the June release.

I mean, I'm aware various of dangers both inside and outside time, and I do basically nothing on this blog but whine about how God has decided to kill my girlfriend's entire family or whatever. I'll try to be more positive from now on.

Hmm. Maybe that wasn't a great start.

Today, woke up again to the sound of Ying's ring-tone. The chinese family situation is a constant adventure to deal with. I'm still trying to decide whether I'm glad that I can't speak cantonese so that I can just avoid involvement right now.

We printed the memorial service photo at Kinkos, dropped off Mrs. Li's last tax forms at the post office, went to the cemetery to prepare the niche for her ashes, and brought clothes to dress the body to the funeral home.

Thanks to everyone for your concern, we appreciate it. Ying is doing as well as could be hoped for in the circumstances, I think, although I'm sure she'll need a little while to collapse after the ceremonies are all completed and the inheritance paperwork has been started.

Thanks also for the recommendations for lawyers. We've narrowed the list down a bit, but if anyone else has a Rockland-area estate lawyer that they'd recommend highly we'd like to hear about it.

And, for those of you asking after me, I'm holding together too. I will be calling some old friends (you probably know who you are) to rant and vent and maybe cry a little in a few days, but other than that I don't think there's much to be done. Just trying to figure out how to get on with life.

Yesterday morning we pulled the plug. It's a hard thing to watch a person die. These days, you read about it a lot, you see it in movies, but it's really not quite like you'd imagine.

Today we are making a brief stop back in Boston in order to pick up clothes for the memorial service and take care of a few chores here. Tomorrow it's back to NY to meet with the funeral director and finalize the arrangements.

Today the news was broken to the family at the hospital.

I did a lot of driving.

Staten Island to Manhattan
Manhattan to Staten Island
Staten Island to Rockland
Rockland to Manhattan
Manhattan to Staten Island

Eventually we didn't get much done today.

Tomorrow we're pulling the plug and making funereal arrangements.

I still have no idea what to ask of the people who are offering help and support. Any suggestions?

As of 3pm today, Mrs. Li had no brain activity. She is not technically brain-dead yet, but if things do not change before tomorrow, she will be.

Even if she does not die, it is vanishingly unlikely that she will ever wake from the coma that she is now in.