Today, woke up again to the sound of Ying's ring-tone. The chinese family situation is a constant adventure to deal with. I'm still trying to decide whether I'm glad that I can't speak cantonese so that I can just avoid involvement right now.

We printed the memorial service photo at Kinkos, dropped off Mrs. Li's last tax forms at the post office, went to the cemetery to prepare the niche for her ashes, and brought clothes to dress the body to the funeral home.

Thanks to everyone for your concern, we appreciate it. Ying is doing as well as could be hoped for in the circumstances, I think, although I'm sure she'll need a little while to collapse after the ceremonies are all completed and the inheritance paperwork has been started.

Thanks also for the recommendations for lawyers. We've narrowed the list down a bit, but if anyone else has a Rockland-area estate lawyer that they'd recommend highly we'd like to hear about it.

And, for those of you asking after me, I'm holding together too. I will be calling some old friends (you probably know who you are) to rant and vent and maybe cry a little in a few days, but other than that I don't think there's much to be done. Just trying to figure out how to get on with life.

Yesterday morning we pulled the plug. It's a hard thing to watch a person die. These days, you read about it a lot, you see it in movies, but it's really not quite like you'd imagine.

Today we are making a brief stop back in Boston in order to pick up clothes for the memorial service and take care of a few chores here. Tomorrow it's back to NY to meet with the funeral director and finalize the arrangements.

Today the news was broken to the family at the hospital.

I did a lot of driving.

Staten Island to Manhattan
Manhattan to Staten Island
Staten Island to Rockland
Rockland to Manhattan
Manhattan to Staten Island

Eventually we didn't get much done today.

Tomorrow we're pulling the plug and making funereal arrangements.

I still have no idea what to ask of the people who are offering help and support. Any suggestions?

As of 3pm today, Mrs. Li had no brain activity. She is not technically brain-dead yet, but if things do not change before tomorrow, she will be.

Even if she does not die, it is vanishingly unlikely that she will ever wake from the coma that she is now in.

Well, today didn't go so well. The arteries in Mrs. Li's brain started to spasm, which is increasing cutting off the flow of blood to her brain. This is very bad. Tonight they drilled a hole in the top of her head in order to allow fluid to drain if this becomes a problem.

I think that if I understood the doctor properly today, at this point she has roughly a 20% chance of surviving without significant brain damage. It is a good indication that she arrived at the hospital in good condition, but the current problems may cancel it out.

I don't know what I can do at this point, but I am hoping hard as I can.